Thursday, January 22, 2009

Embarrassing Emotional Outbursts

For everyone who wasn't there to see it, I had a totally embarassing emotional outburst last night. I only blog it to everyone because for some reason it makes me feel better to talk about really embarrassing moments. I actually wrote a paper in college that explored the irony of why people retell embarrassing moments, it was very fun because I got to collect embarrassing moments from everyone I knew and type up the stories as part of my paper. These moments can be so funny to recall. So here's mine.

I didn't realize how stressed out I was until I fell apart. Here's how it happened. We had planned a girls night out at the movies and I was really looking forward to it. I had just started my period and had been really busy lately looking for a house. I was getting very frustrated because it was a lot harder than I had thought to find a house we liked, that we could afford, in the school district we want. I was talking about it with Jeff right before I left to meet the girls and we were thinking that our best bet might be this one house on Chancellor Dr. We looked it up on for another look and found that it was gone! That was the only house we had liked in the entire school district!

With that thought I left a bit late and a little distracted. When I arrived at the theatre I soon realized I must be at the wrong place. My new phone didn't have any of my phone numbers in it so I called Jeff for help. I found out I was at the wrong place! As I drove to the correct location I grew more and more frustrated and upset. I was going to miss the meeting at Dairy Queen, which I had been looking forward to, and only arrive in time to watch the movie I wasn't looking forward to seeing. And I couldn't believe that house was gone!! After over a hundred days on the market it disappears before we could get our hands on it! I felt myself getting emotional and thought about just throwing in the towell and going home, but I had already said I was on my way. I thought if I could just get myself together I would have a good time.

Well, as soon as I had found everyone and said hello, for some reason I just burst into tears! I guess it just had to do with already being menstral and upset, and then suddenly being surrounded by girlfriends, that just hit a trigger behind my eyes. I tried to explain that I must just be stressed out from losing the house I wanted, but I just felt so dumb! I absolutely hate crying in public! Everyone was nice and said they understood but I still just felt like an a--. So I tried to get control of myself and enjoy the rest of the evening.

The movie was actually really good but it started the flood of tears again because it was about best girlfriends and made me miss mine. Then after the movie as I was leaving I made a really stupid remark to someone's mom. I just meant to say something nice, so I said "It was so nice to meet you. " Then I remembered I hadn't really met her at all, in fact I hadn't even made eye contact with her, so the next thing that came out of my mouth was "well not really...". From that point there was really nothing to say that would salvage it so I just walked away, again feeling like the idiot of the night. One of my friends teased me about what I had said, and ridiculously, I burst into tears again!!! What a night! I felt so completely insane!

Of course I cried the whole way home, cried while I told my mom what a lunatic I was, and then cried some more as I explained to Jeff why I came home from a girl's night out in tears. I felt better, as I always do, when Jeff gave me a hug, told me I wasn't crazy, and that he loved me. Ahh, what a difference a loving husband makes. :)

And by the way, today I looked at more houses and found some great possibilities, plus we may be able to make an offer on the one we thought we had lost.


shaina said...

ah margaret. We all have days like that. It is so hard to stop crying, once those tears start coming.
Nobody thinks less of you. If anything, it brought you closer to all of our friends. You'll find the house that's perfect for you... Dairy Queen will always be there....and so will friends. Hope today was a better day for you. Have some chocolate.

runningfan said...

If I had been there, I'm sure I would have blubbered right along with you! You subconsciously just knew you were safe among friends, so you could let it all hang out!

Colleen said...

As for the comment to Kendra's mom, we all totally knew what you meant even though it came out badly! There was no reason to be embarrassed! Although, I would have been too, so I get it. I am glad you could just let yourself be with us, there is no one better to cry with than your girlfriends...because we've all been there too!